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English Cucumber

That's not what I ordered. On July 3, 2002, a 16 inch English cucumber was removed from the rectum of Harry Putso in Providence, Rhode Island.
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Shot Glass

Who ordered a Muddy Mary? Jerry Shakes managed to get a shot glass stuck in his ass on October 13, 1994 in Sacramento, CA.
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Cell Phone

Tina Markoza lost her cell phone in her poop purse on January 1, 2018 in Beaverton, Oregon.
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Wiffle Ball Bat

She did it like this and that AND with a wiffle ball bat. On August 10, 2015, Tim Rutherford had to have a wiffle ball bat extricated from his bum in Oxshire, England.
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Salad Tongs

On September 18, 2008, Fred Pamples lost the family's salad tongs while having someone toss his salad in Yalloo, Montana.
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Light Bulb

How many assholes does it take to screw in a light bulb? Just one and that's George Germaine in Talton, Florida on March 5, 2010.
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Bowling Pin

A strike landed a hole in one when Kirk Needingham got a bowling pin stuck up his wazoo in Eureka, CA on November 28, 2016.
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